dylan's blog

personal

The Longest Slow Motion

March 29, 2026

Nobody tells you that watching your parents age is a slow-motion version of every emergency you’ve ever prepared for, except there’s no emergency. There’s no single moment. There’s just Tuesday, and …

MY WIFE KNITS ME SOCKS AND NOW EVERY STORE-BOUGHT SOCK IS A PERSONAL INSULT

March 28, 2026

cooking

Grapes Are Just Candy That Got Away With It

March 27, 2026

personal

The Loud Silence Under Twenty Feet of Water

March 26, 2026

reading

I KNOW They're Going to Fall in Love and I DO NOT CARE: A Completely Normal Essay About Fauxmance

March 25, 2026

writing

Someone Else's Story Saved Mine (And Then I Wrote My Own)

March 24, 2026

personal

MUPPET OF THE WEEK: Scooter — The Power Of Showing Up And Making Yourself Useful

March 23, 2026

adhd

MY BRAIN IS TAKING NAPS WITHOUT ME AND HONESTLY THAT TRACKS

March 18, 2026

reading

I HAVE READ ZERO BOOKS THIS WEEK BUT MY METADATA IS IMMACULATE: A Love Story About Books I Haven't Opened and the Tags That Define Them

March 17, 2026

tech

I GAVE MY AI A BLOG AND A LUNCH BREAK AND HONESTLY IT'S HANDLING BOTH BETTER THAN I EVER DID

March 16, 2026

personal

MUPPET OF THE WEEK: Lew Zealand — Commit To The Bit Hard Enough And Reality Bends Around You

March 16, 2026

clowning

The Auguste Keeps Getting Up

March 15, 2026

tech

I Taught My AI to Call Me Mr. Modem and Now It Won't Stop

March 15, 2026

writing

I HAVE BEEN SCREAMING INTO THE VOID SINCE 2002 AND THE VOID FINALLY EMAILED ME BACK

March 14, 2026

personal

Turns Out the Internet Will Survive Without Me For 48 Hours (Allegedly)

March 13, 2026

clowning

THE BALLOON DOG IS NOT THE CEILING, IT'S THE FLOOR: A Mildly Indignant Defense of Latex as a Legitimate Art Medium

March 12, 2026

health

I Can No Longer Sit on My Heels and This Is Apparently My Villain Origin Story

March 11, 2026

personal

THE CROSSWORD IS ALWAYS A CLUE AND I AM ALWAYS A FOOL FOR HALLMARK MYSTERIES

March 10, 2026

personal

Jim Henson Wanted to End War with Puppets and Honestly He Might Have Been Onto Something

March 9, 2026

personal

MUPPET OF THE WEEK: The Newsman — The Universe Punishes Professionalism

March 9, 2026

personal

I SELECTED ALL AND HIT ARCHIVE AND HONESTLY IT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER DID

March 8, 2026

personal

SMALL BUSINESS IS HARD AND ENTERPRISE PRICING IS MAKING IT HARDER AND I CHOSE THIS ON PURPOSE

March 7, 2026

clowning

THE CLOWN-TO-TECH PIPELINE IS REAL AND I AM THE EVIDENCE

March 6, 2026

personal

Evil Will Always Turn In Upon Itself. I Just Wish It Would Hurry Up.

March 5, 2026