A week since dad made it home and things are going. I am not sure how they are going, but they are at least going. My mom is going through a lot of the same things I went through when Sarah was sick and it kills me a little bit.
When Sarah was sick, I focused all my energy on making her better. I didn’t reach out for help very much and I didn’t know who to ask for help.
That is the tricky part of dealing with an illness, figuring out what you need help with and asking for it. For some stupid reason we are taught to go on our own through everything. There is a lot of talk about helping your fellow man, but when it comes down to it most people choose to not ask for help.
Serious illness is like a web. At the center is the person who is sick, they send out vibrations to the rest of the people on the web. Closest to the center is the primary caregiver. This is the person who is doing everything in their power to make life easy and good for the person in the center.
The next tier is immediate family. They are spread at different intervals from he center. Some are close and able to provide direct help, while others are a phone call away. This group of people is in a hard position, trying to support the center person and the primary care giver.
After that is the rest of the village. Friends, family, home health workers, doctors, etc. They provide support and help make things easier. But here is the trick: Serious illness is never easy.
Serious illness is a right bastard tat takes away something and give only pain in return. It takes a special group of people to get through it unscathed and that only works if everyone has the same goal.
Working where I do, I am usually in the last tier group. I help people connect their family member with the care they need that we provide. I have also been in the primary caregiver tier and can say that it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
If someone you know is going through a tough illness, help them out. It can be something as simple as a phone call or email. You could bring food by and chat for a second. Or send flowers. Let the person know that you care.
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