I have read a lot online about people who receive emails from random people in Africa about helping launder money and have been disappointed in the lack of those emails that I receive. Well not anymore. I have received two offers to launder money in the past couple of weeks and have been just itching to talk about them. One of them is the typical African one with the I am royalty and need help getting money out of the country so the rebels don’t get it. That one was ok. The best one… The one I will share with the world was from a Williams Smith Lee.
I am apparently his friend and I need to be patient with him. He works at some bank that does business with the Chinese ministries and they invested 28.5 million USD…This was in 2003. Then In 2004 he wanted to withdraw the money and then unexpectedly died in a car accident. Awesome.
Basically the gist is that I can pretend to be this guys next of kin and split the money with him. Right. I am of course betraying my friends trust… I hope he isn’t mad.
Here is the letter:
Thank you for giving me your time. Please be patient and read my email to you.
I am Williams Smith a staff attached to a reputed bank Private Banking services in. I am contacting you concerning an investment placed under our banks management 4 years ago; you are contacted independently out of investigation in the bank. I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you.
In 2003, an international consultant with the one of Chinese Ministries came to our bank to engage in business discussions with our Private Banking Services Department. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of 28.5 million United States Dollars to deposit in our bank for investment.
In mid 2004, he requested disinvestments and direct the bank to channel the funds to its affiliate. In line with our business discussions he told me he wanted the process and documentation finalize before his arrival from business strip later that week. This was the last communication we had; this transpired around 25th August 2004.after two weeks no response from him I immediately passed the task of locating him to the internal investigations department of our bank. Four days later, information started to trickle in, that he was apparently dead for an auto accident.
_The bank immediately launched an investigation into possible surviving next of kin. If you are familiar with private banking affairs, those who patronize our services do so for the unconventional processes and anonymity. In his bio-data form, he listed no next of kin. Account in private banking is held in secrete and depositors use code make it anonymous. Private banking clients apart from not nominating next of kin also usually in most cases leave wills in our care, in this case; he died in testate. The bank has investigated for months no family found the file, which on my desk is assume temporary closed by bank management.
What I wish to relate to you will smack of unethical practice but I want you to understand something. It is only an outsider to the banking world who finds the internal politics of the banking world aberrational. The world of private banking especially is fraught with huge rewards for those who occupy certain offices and oversee certain portfolios. My proposal; is present you as the closest surviving relation and beneficiary to decease estates. You will be properly guided for the bank to nominate you as the next of kin. I cannot claim fund by myself or rather involve any past associate putting into cognizance my involvement in the deposition and upon the released, we share 60/40.
I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I am not a criminal and what I do; I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move. Such opportunities only come ones’ way once in a lifetime. I am a family man and this is an opportunity to provide them with new opportunities. There is a reward for this project and it is a task well worth undertaking. I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusing to work with me and alerting my bank.
Note there no risks involve on your part, as your claims will be referred to my desk to ascertain; good fortune has blessed you with a name that has planted you into the center of relevance in my life. Let’s share the blessing.
Do not betray my confidence.
I await your response.