Posted on Jan 21, 2004

Thats right ladies and gentlemen, the blue planet is getting its very own moon elevator. Not only will this expedite travel to the moon it will make it possible for anyone to travel to the moon to visit the colonies. No longer will you have to be put on the waiting list to travel on the orbiters, you can simply wait for the elevator to be in a town near your home and then just hop on.
Whats that you say? How can a moon elevator possibly travel around the world? Imagine if you will a vehicle the size of three busses with the elevator attached. Why does it have to travel? Because it will be attached to the moon.
After careful consioderation we at DST have decided to create the worlds first esculadder. The esculadder was first propsed by Mark Straward, a senior member of the design team. At first we considered an actual elevator but using the esculadder we are able to create prepetual motion which will allow us to start the eleveator and have it run forever.
Another design Presented by Dr. Reed Reprah was to tie a giant rope created with nanotubes around the equater of the moon and then anchor it to the earth in Austrailia of of Ayers Rock. We would then create a tram system that would go to and from the moon in a very scenic and relaxing ride. After careful analysis we realized that this would cause the moon wrap around the earth and crash right into the middle of Georgia, USA. Unfortunatley not only would that kill everyone in Georgia it would also really mess up the slides.
In just a few weeks we will send notices out to people who are living in the path of the base station. If you happen to get one of these notices we will transfer all of your assets to the moon colony Kronus. As DR. Emily Ross said “You guys are retarded.”