Fucking last row of the plane

Posted on Jan 2, 2004

Here I sit in the last row of the airplane. Lucky row 13, seat B. It rules. I am on a plane that seats 50 people. On entrance in front as well as exits on the wings. I am sitting next to a lady who not only is she rude but she kind of smells like an apartment building. Not dirty but not necessarily clean either. The other 12 rows are 4 seats, two on each side of the aisle, not lucky 13 though. We get to sit by ourselves and suffer. Instead of two seats across from me there is the only bathroom for these 50 people. So maybe the lady next to me doesn’t smell of old apartments maybe it is the smell of disinfectant and the piss stench that disinfectants cannot cover.

I arrived at the airport with about 1.5 hours before take off and went and sat by security waiting for the privilege of security people. What fun. The lady at the counter were I had gotten my boarding pass told me to go to the security area a little before 5pm for my flight at 5:30. So I get up there at like 4:15 and sit and relax with Sarah and her family. Around 4:45 Sarah and I go stand in line so I can go through security. At 4:47 they start boarding my plane and then at 4:56 they call a last call for all passengers on flight whatever to Chicago. Excuse me. I hadn’t even been in line long enough to have to think about taking my laptop out of my bag. I mention this to the security agent who gives me a tough shit sneer and explains that its not his fault that I didn’t get to the airport soon enough. Suddenly a roar starts behind me almost every other person in line ahead and behind me is in the same dilemma. Weird. As you may have guessed I got on the plane fine and am on my way to Chi town to board another plane to Denver. Hope mom and dad pick me up.

Back to the restroom seat. One of the officers (pilot co-pilot or navigator) just came to use the restroom. WTF. All this shit I have heard about better security and locked doors to the cockpit and he just walks back here. And the look he gave me before shutting the door. You know the bastard is gonna take a huge stinky dump. Bastard. Well he is out now and that seems to be the case. I find it funny that the pilot just got up and walked back here to go to the bathroom. I sure hope he was the pilot. At least I saw him go in so I know he didn’t go change and is going to crash us that would suck.

In Vt I went to the Ben and Jerry’s factory and Al’s french fries. Al’s has the best french fries I have ever had. It has been open since 1948 I believe and is a popular haunt for the kids. Well I don’t really know that but it might be. I would certainly go there if I was a kid. Oh yeah, happy new year. Sorry I forgot sitting near the poop hole will do that for you. I hung out at Sarah’s aunt Carol’s house and it was Sarah’s mom’s birthday. She is 50 (don’t tell anyone). It was quite a party and all of Sarah’s family is really nice and fun to hang out with. She has an abnormal number of girl cousins. Like 15 or something like that. OK its really only eight but that still a lot since almost all of my family is male. Its weird.

Sarah and I get married this year in about eight months from Sunday. 09\04\04 is the date if you haven’t gotten an invitation your not invited. OK i’ll admit it we haven’t sent them but we will. But are you on that list??? who knows. It should be fun to get married. I am nervous and excited like opening presents excited. Unless that present is from Harper in which case you know what the present is because Harper is just that slick.

On a sad note on of my friends fathers died and that makes me sad. It is tragic and my heart goes out to the Knutsons. Keefe I know you probably won’t read this but if you need me call. I’ll call you tomorrow. Sorry I haven’t called yet.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Alright, now I am on my plane to Denver. A short while ago I was in Chicago. When we landed at O’hare the pilot came on the intercom and said “I’m sorry but there has been some plane problems at the gate and so we will not be at the gate for another twenty minutes” The time was 6:40, my plane to Denver boarded at 7:00 and departed at 7:40. So I called Harper and told him that he might be taking me to sushi tonight. Then at 7:00 we finally arrived at the gate and then the fun started. My plane from Vt landed at the A concourse I believe and my flight to Denver left from gate C 11 way over in C concourse. Its like a mile walk or so. Maybe more I don’t know. 7:00 at gate, 7:10 off plane since I was in the back row. That meant that I had 30 minutes to get to my gate. Really 10 or so since they say they want you at the gate 20 minutes ahead or so. Add to this the fact that I brought my laptop on this trip so Sarah could music up her ipod. So I was running heavy coat in hand, computer strapped to my back listening to “I wanna have some fun” on my ipod. Thank god for dance vol.1. As I ran I realized that escalators and moving sidewalks would be perilous to me getting to the gate on time. I ran quickly through concourse A following signs to concourse C. As I progressed further I started to get a little tired. Then I saw a set of stairs going sown to the next part. At this point the song was now “good times” from the dance CD. I shot down the stairs darting in and out of people as if I was on skis. I almost knocked on person over but I quickly said sorry and continued on. Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs I looked hopefully ahead of me and I was in the light tunnel thing at O’hare. Oh Joy. I quickly sprinted along the shiny tile floor and failed to notice the pattern of the neon lights that so fascinated me last time I came into O’hare and walked through them. I shot up to the right of the moving sidewalks and just kept running as I reached the other ends staircase the song switched to “this is your night” and I was dying. I actually rode this escalator up. Upon reaching the top I continued on and was happy to see that I was finally close to concourse B. Turning what I hoped was the final corner I found my self in concourse B near gate be one looking up at a sign that said GATES B1-B36 and it also said CONCOURSE C. I had to run all the way through concourse B to get to Concourse C. Bad airport designers. Finally I made it to my plane.

Just so everyone knows I used spell check on this entry.

Back to the Tragedy. It is disturbing to me that apparently me and my friends my age have reached the age that we realize our parents are mortals. I know that I said something like that when my dad was having his surgery but it seems to be a common theme in my life and the life of my peers. While I was visiting Vt I noticed that I Noticed that people my parents age seemed less invincible. You know you are a kid and your parents and grownups in general are iTherenvincible you never think of them as being able to die. There may be the odd grownup here and there but never such a number. Maybe I am being morbid but I am scared for my parents as well as for all people my parents age and such.

On this plane I am sitting in the middle of a really big big plane it is about 10 rows of 6 first class seats and 31 rows of 7 economy plus or whatever they call them . The cabin I am in is 2 seats at each window separate by an aisle then 3 seats then aisle and then 2 more window seats. I am in row 38 out of 41 and I am in the middle all by myself. I have all the room I want and find myself to be very comfortable which I feel I deserve seeing as how I had to run a really long way. On the 7th of Jan. I am pretty sure Sarah and I will have been together for 4 years ( if I am wrong then it is 5 but it doesn’t seem like that could possible. In march we will have been engaged for a year and we will be married. I am now open to suggestions for what Sarah and I should do for our honeymoon. Right now I am thinking of fourThey possibilities.

Option 1: Disneyworld-> Home of everything fun. They have honeymoon packages that include just about everything and provide fun things to do such as a spa day and dinner with mickey and minnie.

Option 2: Bed and Breakfast in Vermont-> High on the romance factor. Locked away in a B&B in Vermont maybe up in Stowe area. A plus to this idea is that we could have a second reception for Sarah’s relatives in Vermont.

Option 3: Italy\europe-> The winner in romance I think plus it would give Sarah and I a chance to check out a lot of the art that Sarah loves and also to go to a totally different place.

Option 4: Cruise-> Why not. Tropical probably nice and relaxing. Just hang out on the boat and be lazy. All inclusive so little other expense.

If you have an opinion email me at [email protected] and I’ll tally the results and let everyone know.

While I was in Vermont I read the DaVinci Code. It was real good. I know a lot of people agree and this is what I thought. The plot was really good and engrossing as were the characters. I felt like I could identify with the detective. I think that the most enjoyable part of it was the descriptions of the art as well as the lore and myth that it discussed. I am wanting to learn more about the Rose and all of the secret societies that were talked about.

Also while I was in Vermont I watched Mona Lisa Smile. It was fairly good. When I saw the previews for it I pegged as a dead poets society for girls. I was just about right. Rather then ending tragically and leaving you sad it left you quite happy and you wanted to follow the main girls to the future. Julia Roberts did a good job and once again I was fascinated by the art that was shown. I think Sarah has had a positive influence on me. I love art history and maybe I should take a class.

speaking of classes this next semester I am taking intro to environmental studies, physical geography, and history after 1877. Physical geography is a funny one because it has a lab. I think that means that my teacher will teach us about hills and then on lab days the class will go outside and the professor will say that over there is a hill. OK it will probably be harder then that but maybe not.

I love Sarah.

dylan

A_R__G_H!