I am a person who loves looking fancy. I love wearing ties, both bow and otherwise, nice slacks, a jacket. But I don’t want to be boring, so there has to be bright colors and amazing patterns. My dream is to own multiple three piece tweed suits. Or, I guess, that was my dream.
For the five years prior to the pandemic I wore slacks, a button up shirt, and a tie every day I worked. It started when I was doing admissions at a long term care facility and continued through a hospice marketing job and into my activities director position. But when the pandemic happened I started slipping. I stopped wearing ties, jeans became part of my routine, and sometimes I would wear a sweater with just a t-shirt underneath gasp.
Once I left healthcare I started working from home exclusively. Athliesure became my wardrobe. I wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt everyday. Fancy is gone from my wardrobe. And I miss it.
But how do I bring it back? I sit at a computer 90% of my day and I only see people virtually. So do I wear a button up and tie and sweatpants? Since I run my own company I don’t really have a dress code. And the way I look is less important than the expertise I bring to my field.
Granted I have never really cared what other people think about how I dress/look. I have always dressed fancy for me. I wonder if this is the last bit of my recovery from my mental breakdown, this interest in dressing fancy because it makes me happy. I hope so.
That has been the hardest part of dealing with my anxiety: not knowing if I am doing something because my brain is an asshole or if it is just me. And it is all me, just different parts of me.
Hopefully this is me continuing to move forward with my mental wellbeing.