Blargh

I have written many posts about how I am going to blog more, or write more, or whatever. But I haven’t been writing more and I am struggling to figure out how to write as much as I used to.

When I first started working in Long Term Care I wrote two novels (50k+ words), a serial (which I abandoned), and numerous other short stories. I was enamored with the idea of being an author and selling stories. I put stuff up on amazon and I sent stories off to various literary magazines. I even sent one of my manuscripts off to agents.

I think I made about $20 from amazon. Which is enough to buy some slurpees and I still randomly get change from them when someone buys one of my shorts. The various literary magazines have all said no, but one of them told me they loved my story but couldn’t find the correct issue to put it in. Which is basically like being published without being published. I have received some good feedback from agents and I have a list of agents that liked my stuff but didn’t think it was ready or whatever.

This means the only thing holding me back from writing success is me. So what’s the problem. It has been a weird couple of years. I left my job in admissions at a nursing home which afforded me a lot of secret on the clock writing time for a pretty great job marketing Hospice. But that job killed me emotionally. When I left that position to go to my current position I was suffering from compassion fatigue. I just didn’t feel anymore and I didn’t care.

I was lucky that I was only jobless for two weeks before I started working with some amazing people at a retail store. I sold kitchen stuff and chatted with people and started to get my emotions back. Suddenly I was able to empathize again. As my emotions returned I was able to connect with people and that led me to making some good friends. After a few months there I got offered my current job: Life Enrichment Director!!

This is a job that has allowed me to use all of the skills I have build over a lifetime. I spend my time hanging out with elders and helping them maintain an active lifestyle. It was the perfect job for me. But then, like an asshole, 2020 happened.

My job changed overnight. No longer was I able to do group activities. Everything had to be one on one or individual. My job stopped being fun and became work. But I still have a job. And things will get better. It is just hard that my job, that I was just starting to feel confident in, suddenly changed so completely.

What does this have to do with writing? Nothing. This is truly just a dump of everything that has been going on. I want to write more. I am connecting with my writing friends to start holding each other accountable and I am going to write more. Because I feel more grounded when I write and I have stories I want to tell.

So keep an eye out here if you want. And feel free to read my stories or buy my shorts, or don’t. I am just glad to be back putting words down and getting things out of my head.