To the Moon and Other Bad Ideas

Another semi fond memory of my childhood involves bullion cubes and three kids that want to be astronauts.

It all started when we where playing astronaut and needed space food. Since we didn’t have any sort of a dehydrator we had to make do with food that might be used in space. What we had was bullion cubes**, **beef bullion cubes if I am not mistaken, and we needed sustenance to get through our mission.

What started as a necessity for our mission quickly became a competition to see who could keep in in their mouth the longest. The problem with bullion cubes is that they suck all of the moisture out of you body as you suck on them. What boggle my mind still is how we did this more then once. Basically anytime Jon, Harper and I where together we would play the bullion cube game.

The best part was once you had finished your cube and had a drink of water. You could feel the liquid oozing back into you mouth and the surrounding skin. thinking about it now actually makes me a little sick.

This next one is just a public service notice:

While working the morning shift at Starbucks with your good buddy, don’t try to make tea in your mouth. It is not fun or awesome, though it is hilarious.

It all started one fine morning when my friend John Beam and I where working as lowly baristas at the local Starbucks. We had been talking about mix drinks in you mouth, like a shot of espresso and some caramel and a little milk to make a latte in you mouth. We then moved on to tea.

Like I said BAD IDEA. The first one we did was a mint Green tea. It was ok, not delicious but it proved to us that if you sucked on a tea bag you can spit tea, which is important for a reason I can’t remember.

After the Mint Tea we tried numerous others and discovered that the herbal teas where the best and that for no reason should anyone ever attempt to make black tea in their mouths. It makes you want to die. Worst idea ever. I think we both almost puked it was so bad. Thinking of that makes me as sick or sicker then thinking about bullion cubes.