Dylan.Blog Writing and musings by Dylan Reed

WELCOME TO DYLANREED.ORG!!!!!!!!!!

^This is how I felt the entire time I watched “300”.^ Or at least when it wasn’t in slow motion. I am all for making a beautiful movie about an incredibly violent time. Go for it, right on. However, stop the overacting and yelling. I don’t think this was the worst movie I have seen(mostly because I have seen “the Protector”) but I felt that they looked in the nerd handbook on how to make movie. Start with a story, add boobs (add slow motion boobs for extra points), add yelling and a bottomless pit(what do dead bodies do to you water supply?) and a bunch of weird creatures.

The story itself was semi historical, unless of course you consider the fact the Xerxes wasn’t actually at the battle or had anything to do with the battle other then being the king\god of the Persians. I also think that it is funny that they made fun of Athenians liking little boys, when the Spartans, as my friend Jon put it, really really liked little boys.

I like boobs as much as anybody, and I had no real problem with the oracle’s dance and subsequent boobage. I however didn’t find the sex scene with the slow motion effects to be necessary. I think that if they had cut all of the slow motion parts of the movie it could have been done in an hour. When I was watching the D-Yikes! episode of southpark was taking the slow-mo over the top making fun of this movie. They didn’t, they accurately depicted the amount of slow motion in the movie.

Also the yelling, why so much yelling. I thought that a lot of the yelling was unnecessary to the movie. There where times when they talked normal, so I no that they didn’t have to yell. During battle, yell; when not in battle, speak like a normal person.

And what was with all of the creatures. The big guy with blade hands, the giant with the pointy teeth who didn’t need his biceps and the “immortals.” Last time I checked I had never heard of giant blade armed people in Greek history. I also like the moral of the story, don’t piss of hunchbacks.